Feelings

Recently, I saw a post in one of the Facebook groups about people having their feelings dismissed. I found this bothersome. I also found this familiar, not from the stand point of having my feelings dismissed, but by being guilty of dismissing someone else’s feelings, or at least not taking them as seriously as I should have.

We all handle things differently. The feelings or pain that the person may be going through can be physical, mental, emotional, or psychological. We don’t know. We just know they are hurting. This can be seen by their actions or inactions or by their words or by their silence. This dismissal of someone’s feelings can come from anywhere, family, friends, disabled peers etc.

·        I have aches and pains as I’m sure others with Spina Bifida or any other disability do. Fortunately for me, mine are not severe. I wake up hurting, but once I start moving, I am good to go. That is not the case with everyone. People with tethered spinal cords, I understand are in excruciating pain all the time. This must be a nightmare.

 

·        I have suffered the loss of a parent/s or loved one either through death or through that person moving away or simply by losing touch for one reason or another. Yes, I grieved their losses, but I was able to find the strength to accept and deal with the loss and move on in a constructive way.

 

·        Ive had times when I have been tested mentally, emotionally, psychologically or spiritual. This was primarily due having to deal with aspects of my Spina Bifida that I never had to deal with or accept before.

 

While writing this post, some of the points really hit me. I am going to look into each of these more and talk about how I have handled them and how I might have handled them differently. I look forward to hearing from people about how they handled similar situations. Thank you in advance.

 

Discrimination

In the Spina Bifida and disability groups I am in on Facebook, we often talk about issues of discrimination because of our disabilities. Personally, I have rarely experienced any discrimination, but recently, I experienced something that I cannot shake off. 

            I had a meeting at the local Vocational Rehabilitation (DVR) office. The office is located in a building that houses other offices and agencies.  While I was waiting to be called back, I needed to use the bathroom. I left the office and went down the hall where I was told the bathroom was. When I got there, the door was locked. I had to go BACK DOWNSTAIRS to use the bathroom. Why was the door locked? Why do I have to go downstairs when there is a bathroom right here on this floor? What if I had an “accident” before I got the bathroom because of having to go downstairs?

 When I got back upstairs, I saw men in business suits entering the bathroom with keys on a giant key ring.  When I mentioned this to the people at DVR, they brushed it off as if to say they didn’t want to comment on the reason the bathroom was not open to the public. As mentioned earlier, I don’t easily get offended over stuff, but I just can’t seem to let this go. Here is an agency who is supposed to advocate for people with disabilities and yet they tolerate inaccessibility to bathroom facilities to their clients! Seriously????

I am debating whether to write a letter to the state asking why this is allowed. What about all advancements we have made where discrimination against people with disabilities? Is there a certain protocol I am unaware of?

I really want to pursue this. Who is with me? I realize we all live in different parts of the country and in some cases, the world, but I am willing to do the research for this.

 I would need your stories of discrimination too, not just mine. This is how the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) started, with a few people having mutual issues with how the disable were being treated and now, although we still have a ways to go, we have come a long way.