Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Let Me Fail


As we grow, we learn to do new things. Sometimes we get it right the first time. Sometimes we don’t, and that’s okay. Failure is all part of learning. Learning can be especially difficult for some individuals with a disability. However, being disabled does not mean we are incapable of learning, we just need a little more time and patience. Slowing down and explaining things to someone with a disability will help them understand and retain the information and process it better. It has been proven that everybody learns in different ways. Some are visual learners, some are auditory learners, and some are more hands on, or a combination of these.
A FB friend of mine had gotten a cubical shelving unit for his bedroom that needed some assembly. He had wanted to put it together himself by looking at the directions carefully. At one point, his father came into the room and saw that he was having some difficulty. Instead of coming in and offering some help, his father basically said, move out of the way and he went ahead and put it together instead of taking the time to show my friend the right way to do it and working on it together. This left my friend feeling “broken” like he wasn’t smart enough or good enough.
When I was taking the LAST course to finally get my associates degree, I had major difficulties because it was a math class, which has always been my worst subject. I went to tutoring, I met with the professor before and after class, I consulted with the Disabilities Coordinator at the college, all to try to get through this class. I would complain to anyone who would listen.
One day, when in college, I was supposed to take a test. My anxiety level was through the roof! I got to class early that morning, so I could do some last - minute studying. Soon after I got in the room, the professor came in. He could see I was upset and asked what was wrong. I began to cry as I told him about how stressed I was over the class. He asked me if he could tell me something. I said yes. I figured he was going to say what everyone else has told me, that I needed to just try harder etc, etc. Instead, he told me that he admired me. He said, “Here you are, in your 40’s with a disability, still trying to get your degree and have not giving up.” “I commend you for that.” This meant the world to me. He reassured me that I WAS in fact passing the course and that I would be getting my degree.
Having someone take their time to help us learn something new means everything.  It helps us to learn new things number one, but it also helps to boost our confidence and sense of pride. This can be invaluable to someone who has difficulty learning, so please, be patient with those of us who struggle to learn, it means the world to us.
I would like to encourage anyone who would like to, to share their own similar experiences, so we can all learn how to handle this sometimes, touchy subject.

                         


Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Put Down Your Rock! - Re-post



I first posted this to my blog back on December 1, 2015. I had SO many people tell me how much it helped them I was overwhelmed. I would like to share it again for those who may need some encouragement. I hope you all enjoy it and possibly find peace in something you may be struggling with.

Thank you.


As we go through life, regardless of whether we are disabled or not, sometimes things happen that bother us. It could be something someone said to us, the way someone acted toward us, or maybe it was the way someone made us feel.  These things can have a negative effect on us which can be physical, mental or emotional.

 I am pretty good about letting things go and moving on. However, there have been a few things that have bothered me and I just couldn’t let them go no matter how hard I tried. Every time I saw a certain person, or if I am in a similar situation where the incident occurred, it brought back memories of a not so nice time or event in my life.

 A few years ago, I took a very interesting class. One day our teacher asked us to bring in a rock with us to our next class, but wouldn’t tell us why.

The next day, although I was somewhat confused and yet intrigued as to why we needed these rocks for class, I went out in my yard in search of a rock. I found one. It had light, medium and dark gray lines through it. It was somewhat pyramid in shape. It fit in my fisted hand. I liked it.

At the beginning of class the next day, our teacher told us about an experience she had when she attended a Native American ceremony.  The leader of the ceremony asked everyone in attendance to find a rock just as she had asked us to do. Once they had their rocks, they were asked to think of something, someone or an experience they had a hard time dealing with. At the end of the ceremony, the participants were asked to place their rocks in a pile as a symbolic way of leaving their issue behind.  Our teacher wanted us to do the same thing.

 Although I didn’t want to confront this issue, I thought this was a really cool idea and I really got into it. I slept with my rock right next to my pillow so I would see it as soon as I woke up and kept it in my pants pocket during the day so I would feel it pressing against my leg to serve as a constant reminder of the issue I was letting bothering me so badly.

 During the week, I thought a lot about the issue and I tried to analyze why I was letting it bother me so much, how it was effecting my life, and what I could do to handle it better. Being reminded of the issue by the rock constantly pressing against my leg, I was able to realize that the issue really wasn’t that big of a deal. I needed to put down the “rock” and move on. It wasn’t worth it. Once I came to this realization, a huge weight was lifted off of me.

Sometimes the “rocks” that we carry with us feel more like boulders and letting go isn’t as simple as just putting them down. Sometimes the rocks get thrown back on us and we end up having to pick them up again. It sucks when this happens, but we need to make sure that we don’t let these rocks weigh us down to the point where we feel trapped and cannot get out from under them. If this does happen, we need to realize that it is time speak to someone whether it is a trusted friend, a family member, clergy, or counselor. It is okay to do this. It is okay to admit we need help. Asking for help allows us to see our issues from a different perspective and assists us in putting down our rocks.  I would love to hear from people about how they handled a difficult situation and how they were able to finally put their “rocks” down.


Thanks.







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