Let Me Fail

As we grow, we learn to do new things. Sometimes we get it right the first time. Sometimes we don’t, and that’s okay. Failure is all part of learning. Learning can be especially difficult for some individuals with a disability. However, being disabled does not mean we are incapable of learning, we just need a little more time and patience. Slowing down and explaining things to someone with a disability will help them understand and retain the information and process it better. It has been proven that everybody learns in different ways. Some are visual learners, some are auditory learners, and some are more hands on, or a combination of these.

A FB friend of mine had gotten a cubical shelving unit for his bedroom that needed some assembly. He had wanted to put it together himself by looking at the directions carefully. At one point, his father came into the room and saw that he was having some difficulty. Instead of coming in and offering some help, his father basically said, move out of the way and he went ahead and put it together instead of taking the time to show my friend the right way to do it and working on it together. This left my friend feeling “broken” like he wasn’t smart enough or good enough.

When I was taking the LAST course to finally get my associates degree, I had major difficulties because it was a math class, which has always been my worst subject. I went to tutoring, I met with the professor before and after class, I consulted with the Disabilities Coordinator at the college, all to try to get through this class. I would complain to anyone who would listen.

One day, when in college, I was supposed to take a test. My anxiety level was through the roof! I got to class early that morning, so I could do some last - minute studying. Soon after I got in the room, the professor came in. He could see I was upset and asked what was wrong. I began to cry as I told him about how stressed I was over the class. He asked me if he could tell me something. I said yes. I figured he was going to say what everyone else has told me, that I needed to just try harder etc, etc. Instead, he told me that he admired me. He said, “Here you are, in your 40’s with a disability, still trying to get your degree and have not giving up.” “I commend you for that.” This meant the world to me. He reassured me that I WAS in fact passing the course and that I would be getting my degree.

Having someone take their time to help us learn something new means everything.  It helps us to learn new things number one, but it also helps to boost our confidence and sense of pride. This can be invaluable to someone who has difficulty learning, so please, be patient with those of us who struggle to learn, it means the world to us.

I would like to encourage anyone who would like to, to share their own similar experiences, so we can all learn how to handle this sometimes, touchy subject.