In my previous post, I talked about how we all tend to let
“rocks” weigh us down and I gave an example of how we can get rid of these
rocks. In addition to rocks that anyone
can have, people with disabilities have their own set of rocks. These rocks can
be brought on by our disabilities (not being able to do certain things others
can), thrown at us by others (being ridiculed because of our short comings), or
they can even be self -imposed (having a defeatist attitude). We can let them
weigh us down, or we can acknowledge them and then find ways to put them down
and live our lives. In this post I am going to talk about The academic rock I
have been carrying around and how Im dealing with it.
Soon after I decided to go back to college, I ran into
someone I hadn’t seen in a while. I told her that I was planning on going back
to college after a very long break. Let’s just say she less than supportive.
This temporarily got to me. Was she right? Was I going to fail or at least give
up again? NO! I decided right then and there
that I was going to prove her wrong. She
will probably have forgotten what she said by then, but I plan on sending her a
graduation announcement to let her know I did it!
Not long after this conversation I met with the Disabilities
Coordinator at the college and told him about my past at the college. He was
surprised that I have been attending the college off and on since the late 1980s. I jokingly said, yeah, my family might have
to accept my degree posthumously, but I would get it!
During our meeting, I told him about how I have had major
difficulties throughout my life where academics are concerned and how they are
rocks or better yet, my boulders! I
said I have always had problems with reading comprehension, organizational
skills, and especially math and that because of these issues, I have developed
a defeatist attitude, and yes, I have also become just plain lazy at times.
After I told him about my issues, we worked on strategies to try
to develop more effective study skills including: limiting the amount of classes so I can
concentrate better, learning how to take better notes, and not procrastinate as
much as I have in the past, AND ways to avoid distractions such as Facebook!
Lol.
Although I am on academic probation again due to my nemesis, MATH,
I am working on ways to become more successful the next time I attempt a math
class. In the meantime, I am taking classes that I know I will be more
successful in. By doing this, I am hoping to boost my GPA as well as my self-confidence.
This is my way of gradually, yet steadily getting rid of my academic rock.
Different aspects of our disabilities can weigh us down, even
alter our lives. We all need to look for ways to lighten our loads and not let
other people and things pile on the “rocks”. If you would like to, please feel free to
share your stories of how you dealt with your own set of academic rocks.
Thanks!
Great post. My grandson is struggling with reading comprehension and math.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. My grandson is struggling with reading comprehension and math.
ReplyDeleteHi Linda,
DeleteThank you for your comment. I have heard that from a lot of people. Especially those with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus. From what I understand, these issues can be address through the Child Study team, or if you are in college by the Disability Coordinator.
Dear Jim,
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that is important for you to learn how to do... something I work on every moment of every day.... is to allow those who offer you assistance to do so, to let them be there for you as you lift off those rocks and throw them away.
I was at a point in my life not too many years ago when I had completely given up. It was over. I knew there was nothing I could do. And somewhere in the periphery of my mind's eye, I realized there were individuals reaching out to me. And that it was okay to take their hands.
I had so much trouble allowing those people to be there for me in whatever capacity they could be. And finally I gave up to the point that I had to accept their help or die.
Yes, I had chosen to allow the boulders to crush me that deeply. And yet somehow I chose to not die.
It was honestly one of the most difficult decisions I've ever made in my life, but I did it. And my life has not turned out the way I'd hoped it to be. Not the way I'd planned it to be. Not the way I'd dreamed it to be. But it's turned out to be a pretty good life, nonetheless.
And now, at the place where I find myself- academically, physically, emotionally, spiritually... I find at this place I can reach out to others and give them an extension of the hands that were given to me.
I can see it in your eyes. You have so much potential. That potential is pushing you forward. And there is a deep lack of self-esteem and self-confidence that is pulling you back. That missing self-confidence is much more of a boulder for you than anything Spina Bifida or Hydrocephelous could throw your way.
And there are people around you, sitting right there next to you, right across the room from you, holding out a hand. Accepting those hands is not a weakness. It's a sign of strength that you are ready to become the best person you can possibly be.
And then someday you can reach out your hands to someone else- perhaps to many someone elses- who could benefit so very much from the you that you have become, in the place where you will find yourself to be.
Step one.... Overcome your deepest nemesis.... Choose to let someone work with you to overcome that mathematics. Choose to take a hand that has been offered around you. CHOOSE to accept that assistance and CHOOSE to smash that boulder to the ground.
Yours,
MP
MP, thank you so much for openness and your comment. I do need to work on the things you mentioned. It is hard sometimes for people to admit they need help and even harder to accept it, but as you found out, once you do, things start to get better. Thank you for your encouragement.
ReplyDeleteJim