When I’ve talked to friends on Facebook about their experiences on this issue, some said that their parents, for whatever reason were unwilling to teach them how to do things such as cooking, cleaning and laundry. This has got to be very frustrating for someone who is willing and capable of doing at least some of these household chores on their own. This is not doing them any favors. Being able to do at least some things independently allows us to feel some sense of accomplishment and pride.
In my case, I was unable to live on my own mainly because of insufficient income. Although I was unable to live independently, my parents taught me how to be as independent as possible. I was taught how to manage my personal needs independently. My father taught me how to fix certain things and how to do basic household maintenance, while my mom taught me how to cook, do laundry, AND although I don’t like to do it, she also taught how to CLEAN. J L Lol.
Another example of how to gain independence is being able to stick up for yourself. A young man who I am friends with on Facebook is living in a nursing home due to circumstances out of his control. He told me how much he HATES living there. Seriously, who wouldn’t? In a nursing home, your ability to be independent is basically non-existent. You are expected to get up at a certain time, eat at a certain time and in some cases you receive therapies. I won’t even go there about how difficult it is to sleep in those places. UGH!
I asked if he had ever thought about talking to the social worker where he lives about assisted living facilities in his area. I thought that might be a better living arrangement for someone his age and level of ability and desire for independence. To help him out, I looked online and found places near him that offered more independent living arrangements.
Standing up for yourself can be difficult, especially when it comes to your parents or other close family members or caregivers. You don’t want to seem unappreciative, but you want to be given the chance to prove you can do things for yourself. Do your homework. Find information to back up what you want to say and do. But most importantly, know that this is not going to be easy on anyone. You want your independence, but your parents will most likely be apprehensive because they want to protect you and take care of you. Here are a few links to get you started. J
Schooling- http://www.bing.com/search?q:vocational+rehabilitation+services&qs=AS&pq=vocational+rehab&sc=8-16&sp=1&cvid=487D850E87F4D5AB2048A43FC65A378&form+QBRE
IEPs, 504 plan-
http://understandingspecialeducation.com/
Americans
with Disabilities Act
http://www.ada.gov
I concur wholeheartedly. Some times loved ones can be "over protective" when it comes to our independances. I think it is important to show what we can or cannot do to those around us. Especially, since we will not always have them around.
ReplyDeleteExactly, Scott. They wont always be around. Then what are we supposed to do?
ReplyDeleteEvery adult (and most teens) should be doing as much as he or she can to take care of him or herself. Anything else is saying that someone else will/has to take care of you for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteWe are interdependent as a society - I don't grow my food or process oil into gasoline for my car - but when I could work, I did, and now I write, hoping to both earn from my writing and educate through it (shh, though - that's the part I sneak in).
I have plenty of problems - but I can still do things for my family, and I can take care of a lot of my needs, and I intend to as long as I can.
It might be easier for someone to do X for me THIS TIME. What about the next time I need X?
Alicia, thank you for commenting. I completely agree. We are interdependent. Having other depend on you keeps you going.
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